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Bios
Char grew up on a school bus where she was able to steal enough shoe laces to make her first guitar. Twenty years later, she met her bandmates while they were on their ever-popular American Prison Tour.
"She can definitely groove. The Queen of her Empire, The Dominatrix of the Tele."
Jay was recently released from prison. This is where he learned how to play bass. They tried to make him learn harmonica, but he flatly refused. Never ask him what happened in the mess hall.
"Jay just locks and rocks and does what all great bassists do - he treats his bass like a melodic percussion instrument and Never leaves the pocket."
 Tom "T." Lippe
T. materialized out of thin air one day about 300 years ago and has been trying to get back, to exactly where isn’t clear, ever since. Meanwhile, a mad Viking hit him over the head with a double bladed Les Paul and he has been taking it out on the guitar ever since.
"You can’t do that with a musical instrument, can you?"
Mark was raised by a pack of wild boars in Indonesia. When rescued by his human family, the first thing they did was send him for piano lessons. He can be seen every summer at the county fair talking to the prized pig.
"Damn this guy has incredible touch--he plays an electronic keyboard like's its a grand piano."
Susan has a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell.
"Susan has that diva power beyond comprehension, and she's always exuding such joy."
Wendy's cousin's friend's sister's cousin's friend has a personal connection with Johnny Depp and when she finally got to meet him she tried to sing for him at the karaoke bar. When she hit a sour note, she got so embarrassed she ran out of the room. While doing so, she tripped over Depp's leg and accidentally punched him in the stomach. Realizing how hard she hit him, she decided to stick with the drums.
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